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Post by Telos on Mar 24, 2022 20:24:09 GMT
The 2nd Moderator Election! Since we are still two Moderators short to fulfill the minimum complement of three, Moderator elections will be run until all vacancies are filled. So, the Second Moderator Election of WriteBrains.net begins! How do Moderators work on WriteBrains.net?On this forum, Moderators are elected for 6-month non-consecutive terms. Normally, any member with over 6 months' membership may submit their candidacy, and other members with 6 months' membership may vote. All founder members, however, automatically have this right - you'll know if you're a founder member because you'll be reading this! You can also see your membership of the 'Longstanding Member' group in your profile (and you can set this as your display group too, if you wish. Just navigate to the 'Settings' tab after clicking the 'Edit Profile' button). How do Moderator Elections work on WriteBrains.net?1. After an Election is triggered, there is one week for submission of candidacy and campaigning, which is conducted in the election thread (this one!). 2. After the one week candidacy/campaigning period, a poll is established of all the candidates, and a three-day voting period begins. 3. After the voting period ends, the winners of the poll are duly elected Moderators, depending on how many Moderators are up for election, and the election concludes. For this one, we're electing two Moderators. Where can I find more detailed information about the election process and Moderator duties?The election process is codified in The Forum Code (ยง2.2.D.), as are Moderator duties. You can find the current version of The Forum Code in 'The Rules' subforum of 'The Town Hall' category, though these are subject to change during this beta test of WriteBrains.net, and may be inaccurate at the time of writing (for instance, Moderators are not to be anonymous, since this reduces their accountability and poses security risks for the forum). How many Moderators are being elected in this Moderator Election?2. Okay... good luck! Election begins! |
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Post by Telos on Apr 6, 2022 5:33:48 GMT
This election shall stay open to submissions of candidacy on an ongoing basis.
The normal election process shall commence upon the first submission of candidacy.
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Post by Telos on Apr 10, 2022 8:19:21 GMT
Just as reminder to everyone, and especially new members: we still need 2 further Moderators. Currently anyone can submit their candidacy since everyone is a 'Longstanding Member' (as founder members).
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 15, 2022 23:23:32 GMT
Ladies and gentlemen of the forum.
I welcome you to what is without a shadow of a doubt in my mind, ( whats left of it ) a shambolic example and a sorry excuse for a human being and his attempt at a campaign for a moderating position. I come to you with a combination of cigar ash and dandruff on my shoulder as well as a jam stain on my jumper. Ladies and gentlemen, I am a mess. There is no two ways about it, there is no sugar coating it, I am a mess. In the handful of decades I have somehow survived. ( Believe me it's as big a mystery to myself as it is for God ) I find myself in possession of an uncanny and somewhat bombastic fortune. I've been known to play rock, paper & scissors with myself in a mirror and win. I often find myself reminding myself that I shall die one day whilst waiting for my kettle to boil. But ladies and gentlemen I must tell you that my good lady believes this is surely a sign that I need to replace said kettle if it's taking that long to boil that one questions the expiry date of his own mortality.
So what qualifications do I have?
*taps ash off cigar*
Absolutely none.
I have seen my dreams turn to nightmares and I have had my heart broken then fixed and broken again about as many times as the waves have crashed against the shore. Yet I hope.
Despite my failings, despite life's many disappointments I am stupid enough or boar-headed enough to still hope!
*stuffs his cigar in his mouth*
*then takes it back and out and wedges it between two fingers and points to the people*
But I ask you, all of you!
*wedges it back in his mouth*
Isn't that why we're here? to hope for a better day? to build a better place in which to reside and take shelter from the stresses and strains of the daily grindstone to which we find ourselves shouldering everyday for better or worse?
I have said before and I'll say again, I will roll my sleeves up and do my part in helping build this community. To build a space without agenda other than one of fairness and respect. Intrigue and compassion for the paths in which our fellow members chronicle in their blogs as they share their worries, aspirations, wisdom or curiosities. If this forum is to have little bits of us infused onto it. Like a tapestry of the traits of its users. I'd like it to be the part of me which doesn't hold any discriminatory view againsts a persons religious outlook, sexual orientation, colour of their skin, gender or any other mind numbing tribalistic bollocks this world and it's puppet masters would have us known by. The idea that this world has seduced many of the masses into reducing their essences down to a colour or certain genital, frankly *removes cigar* FRANKLY, has me arse over elbow. We, are human-fucking-beings.
Not blue ticks, not advertising boards or farm animals*thumps desk*, oh no ladies and gentlemen that, we are not. And I'll tell you what we also aren't. We're not part of some sickos voyeuristic fetish. Our lives are not up for the perverse perusal of power hungry despots who dabble a little too readily in nepotism*thumps desk*. Respect is what is sought and respect is what shall be given!*thumps desk* Other forums may get off on their highschool antics and cloak and dagger bullshit but I for one will do everything in my ability to ensure sound ethics and noble character safeguards this forum and it's members from the delinquency of ravenous shadowy types and their perversions. *thumps desk*
Ladies and gentlemen if I may close with this. *takes a swig of whisky*
In my 12 years of being a moderator / Admin elsewhere. I have been touched by the expressions of friendship and compassion between one stranger to another. Some of lifes biggest lessons have been taught to me on forums such as this. And it is my dream, should I be so bold. That Writebrains be a place for people to not only connect with each-other, but themselves. And although the world has changed in its tastes and tolerances from the days of the Tigers dens of yesteryear, I to am learning and continuing to evolve in this life.
So should there be a quantum of pity or charity in any of you, for what is a tired old soul whose just looking to give back, I shall humbly and gratefully appreciate your vote of confidence. Yes! I confess, I dip into the jam jar a little too thoroughly at times and maybe have a little too much orange juice in the mornings.I don't always indicate whilst out on a spirited drive in my aged but nimble racy little minx of a sports car. But by God do I pay my tax and look out for the interests of my fellow road users.
But my intentions are as pure as the whisky currently sat by my side even if it is winking at me and flashing it's knickers.
Ladies and gentlemen I appreciate you entertaining the ramblings of an intoxicated and dishevelled mind. Some would even say, a vacant mind but I bid you a good evening on this good friday. may the good shepherd keep a watchful eye over you and yours.
Good evening and God bless.
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Post by Telos on Apr 15, 2022 23:43:02 GMT
Ladies and gentlemen of the forum. I welcome you to what is without a shadow of a doubt in my mind, ( whats left of it ) a shambolic example and a sorry excuse for a human being and his attempt at a campaign for a moderating position. I come to you with a combination of cigar ash and dandruff on my shoulder as well as a jam stain on my jumper. Ladies and gentlemen, I am a mess. There is no two ways about it, there is no sugar coating it, I am a mess. In the handful of decades I have somehow survived. ( Believe me it's as big a mystery to myself as it is for God ) I find myself in possession of an uncanny and somewhat bombastic fortune. I've been known to play rock, paper & scissors with myself in a mirror and win. I often find myself reminding myself that I shall die one day whilst waiting for my kettle to boil. But ladies and gentlemen I must tell you that my good lady believes this is surely a sign that I need to replace said kettle if it's taking that long to boil that one questions the expiry date of his own mortality. So what qualifications do I have? *taps ash off cigar* Absolutely none. I have seen my dreams turn to nightmares and I have had my heart broken then fixed and broken again about as many times as the waves have crashed against the shore. Yet I hope. Despite my failings, despite life's many disappointments I am stupid enough or boar-headed enough to still hope! *stuffs his cigar in his mouth* *then takes it back and out and wedges it between two fingers and points to the people* But I ask you, all of you! *wedges it back in his mouth* Isn't that why we're here? to hope for a better day? to build a better place in which to reside and take shelter from the stresses and strains of the daily grindstone to which we find ourselves shouldering everyday for better or worse? I have said before and I'll say again, I will roll my sleeves up and do my part in helping build this community. To build a space without agenda other than one of fairness and respect. Intrigue and compassion for the paths in which our fellow members chronicle in their blogs as they share their worries, aspirations, wisdom or curiosities. If this forum is to have little bits of us infused onto it. Like a tapestry of the traits of its users. I'd like it to be the part of me which doesn't hold any discriminatory view againsts a persons religious outlook, sexual orientation, colour of their skin, gender or any other mind numbing tribalistic bollocks this world and it's puppet masters would have us known by. The idea that this world has seduced many of the masses into reducing their essences down to a colour or certain genital, frankly *removes cigar* FRANKLY, has me arse over elbow. We, are human-fucking-beings. Not blue ticks, not advertising boards or farm animals*thumps desk*, oh no ladies and gentlemen that, we are not. And I'll tell you what we also aren't. We're not part of some sickos voyeuristic fetish. Our lives are not up for the perverse perusal of power hungry despots who dabble a little too readily in nepotism*thumps desk*. Respect is what is sought and respect is what shall be given!*thumps desk* Other forums may get off on their highschool antics and cloak and dagger bullshit but I for one will do everything in my ability to ensure sound ethics and noble character safeguards this forum and it's members from the delinquency of ravenous shadowy types and their perversions. *thumps desk* Ladies and gentlemen if I may close with this. *takes a swig of whisky* In my 12 years of being a moderator / Admin elsewhere. I have been touched by the expressions of friendship and compassion between one stranger to another. Some of lifes biggest lessons have been taught to me on forums such as this. And it is my dream, should I be so bold. That Writebrains be a place for people to not only connect with each-other, but themselves. And although the world has changed in its tastes and tolerances from the days of the Tigers dens of yesteryear, I to am learning and continuing to evolve in this life. So should there be a quantum of pity or charity in any of you, for what is a tired old soul whose just looking to give back, I shall humbly and gratefully appreciate your vote of confidence. Yes! I confess, I dip into the jam jar a little too thoroughly at times and maybe have a little too much orange juice in the mornings.I don't always indicate whilst out on a spirited drive in my aged but nimble racy little minx of a sports car. But by God do I pay my tax and look out for the interests of my fellow road users. But my intentions are as pure as the whisky currently sat by my side even if it is winking at me and flashing it's knickers. Ladies and gentlemen I appreciate you entertaining the ramblings of an intoxicated and dishevelled mind. Some would even say, a vacant mind but I bid you a good evening on this good friday. may the good shepherd keep a watchful eye over you and yours. Good evening and God bless. Fantastic! This triggers the seven-day candidacy submission and campaigning period, ending on Saturday 23rd April 2022 00:23 GMT. After that, if more than two candidates have entered the race, a three-day voting period will be held. If two or fewer candidates have entered the race, they shall be elected unopposed. Good luck! |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 15, 2022 23:45:13 GMT
Black Label, this had better be a real entry, because I love it.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Apr 16, 2022 7:27:37 GMT
Ladies and gentlemen of the forum. I welcome you to what is without a shadow of a doubt in my mind, ( whats left of it ) a shambolic example and a sorry excuse for a human being and his attempt at a campaign for a moderating position. I come to you with a combination of cigar ash and dandruff on my shoulder as well as a jam stain on my jumper. Ladies and gentlemen, I am a mess. There is no two ways about it, there is no sugar coating it, I am a mess. In the handful of decades I have somehow survived. ( Believe me it's as big a mystery to myself as it is for God ) I find myself in possession of an uncanny and somewhat bombastic fortune. I've been known to play rock, paper & scissors with myself in a mirror and win. I often find myself reminding myself that I shall die one day whilst waiting for my kettle to boil. But ladies and gentlemen I must tell you that my good lady believes this is surely a sign that I need to replace said kettle if it's taking that long to boil that one questions the expiry date of his own mortality. So what qualifications do I have? *taps ash off cigar* Absolutely none. I have seen my dreams turn to nightmares and I have had my heart broken then fixed and broken again about as many times as the waves have crashed against the shore. Yet I hope. Despite my failings, despite life's many disappointments I am stupid enough or boar-headed enough to still hope! *stuffs his cigar in his mouth* *then takes it back and out and wedges it between two fingers and points to the people* But I ask you, all of you! *wedges it back in his mouth* Isn't that why we're here? to hope for a better day? to build a better place in which to reside and take shelter from the stresses and strains of the daily grindstone to which we find ourselves shouldering everyday for better or worse? I have said before and I'll say again, I will roll my sleeves up and do my part in helping build this community. To build a space without agenda other than one of fairness and respect. Intrigue and compassion for the paths in which our fellow members chronicle in their blogs as they share their worries, aspirations, wisdom or curiosities. If this forum is to have little bits of us infused onto it. Like a tapestry of the traits of its users. I'd like it to be the part of me which doesn't hold any discriminatory view againsts a persons religious outlook, sexual orientation, colour of their skin, gender or any other mind numbing tribalistic bollocks this world and it's puppet masters would have us known by. The idea that this world has seduced many of the masses into reducing their essences down to a colour or certain genital, frankly *removes cigar* FRANKLY, has me arse over elbow. We, are human-fucking-beings. Not blue ticks, not advertising boards or farm animals*thumps desk*, oh no ladies and gentlemen that, we are not. And I'll tell you what we also aren't. We're not part of some sickos voyeuristic fetish. Our lives are not up for the perverse perusal of power hungry despots who dabble a little too readily in nepotism*thumps desk*. Respect is what is sought and respect is what shall be given!*thumps desk* Other forums may get off on their highschool antics and cloak and dagger bullshit but I for one will do everything in my ability to ensure sound ethics and noble character safeguards this forum and it's members from the delinquency of ravenous shadowy types and their perversions. *thumps desk* Ladies and gentlemen if I may close with this. *takes a swig of whisky* In my 12 years of being a moderator / Admin elsewhere. I have been touched by the expressions of friendship and compassion between one stranger to another. Some of lifes biggest lessons have been taught to me on forums such as this. And it is my dream, should I be so bold. That Writebrains be a place for people to not only connect with each-other, but themselves. And although the world has changed in its tastes and tolerances from the days of the Tigers dens of yesteryear, I to am learning and continuing to evolve in this life. So should there be a quantum of pity or charity in any of you, for what is a tired old soul whose just looking to give back, I shall humbly and gratefully appreciate your vote of confidence. Yes! I confess, I dip into the jam jar a little too thoroughly at times and maybe have a little too much orange juice in the mornings.I don't always indicate whilst out on a spirited drive in my aged but nimble racy little minx of a sports car. But by God do I pay my tax and look out for the interests of my fellow road users. But my intentions are as pure as the whisky currently sat by my side even if it is winking at me and flashing it's knickers. Ladies and gentlemen I appreciate you entertaining the ramblings of an intoxicated and dishevelled mind. Some would even say, a vacant mind but I bid you a good evening on this good friday. may the good shepherd keep a watchful eye over you and yours. Good evening and God bless. Fantastic! This triggers the seven-day candidacy submission and campaigning period, ending on Saturday 23rd April 2022 00:23 GMT. After that, if more than two candidates have entered the race, a three-day voting period will be held. If two or fewer candidates have entered the race, they shall be elected unopposed. Good luck!  uh-oh.. |
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Post by kgal on Apr 16, 2022 11:23:34 GMT
Ladies and gentlemen of the forum. I welcome you to what is without a shadow of a doubt in my mind, ( whats left of it ) a shambolic example and a sorry excuse for a human being and his attempt at a campaign for a moderating position. I come to you with a combination of cigar ash and dandruff on my shoulder as well as a jam stain on my jumper. Ladies and gentlemen, I am a mess. There is no two ways about it, there is no sugar coating it, I am a mess. In the handful of decades I have somehow survived. ( Believe me it's as big a mystery to myself as it is for God ) I find myself in possession of an uncanny and somewhat bombastic fortune. I've been known to play rock, paper & scissors with myself in a mirror and win. I often find myself reminding myself that I shall die one day whilst waiting for my kettle to boil. But ladies and gentlemen I must tell you that my good lady believes this is surely a sign that I need to replace said kettle if it's taking that long to boil that one questions the expiry date of his own mortality. So what qualifications do I have? *taps ash off cigar* Absolutely none. I have seen my dreams turn to nightmares and I have had my heart broken then fixed and broken again about as many times as the waves have crashed against the shore. Yet I hope. Despite my failings, despite life's many disappointments I am stupid enough or boar-headed enough to still hope! *stuffs his cigar in his mouth* *then takes it back and out and wedges it between two fingers and points to the people* But I ask you, all of you! *wedges it back in his mouth* Isn't that why we're here? to hope for a better day? to build a better place in which to reside and take shelter from the stresses and strains of the daily grindstone to which we find ourselves shouldering everyday for better or worse? I have said before and I'll say again, I will roll my sleeves up and do my part in helping build this community. To build a space without agenda other than one of fairness and respect. Intrigue and compassion for the paths in which our fellow members chronicle in their blogs as they share their worries, aspirations, wisdom or curiosities. If this forum is to have little bits of us infused onto it. Like a tapestry of the traits of its users. I'd like it to be the part of me which doesn't hold any discriminatory view againsts a persons religious outlook, sexual orientation, colour of their skin, gender or any other mind numbing tribalistic bollocks this world and it's puppet masters would have us known by. The idea that this world has seduced many of the masses into reducing their essences down to a colour or certain genital, frankly *removes cigar* FRANKLY, has me arse over elbow. We, are human-fucking-beings. Not blue ticks, not advertising boards or farm animals*thumps desk*, oh no ladies and gentlemen that, we are not. And I'll tell you what we also aren't. We're not part of some sickos voyeuristic fetish. Our lives are not up for the perverse perusal of power hungry despots who dabble a little too readily in nepotism*thumps desk*. Respect is what is sought and respect is what shall be given!*thumps desk* Other forums may get off on their highschool antics and cloak and dagger bullshit but I for one will do everything in my ability to ensure sound ethics and noble character safeguards this forum and it's members from the delinquency of ravenous shadowy types and their perversions. *thumps desk* Ladies and gentlemen if I may close with this. *takes a swig of whisky* In my 12 years of being a moderator / Admin elsewhere. I have been touched by the expressions of friendship and compassion between one stranger to another. Some of lifes biggest lessons have been taught to me on forums such as this. And it is my dream, should I be so bold. That Writebrains be a place for people to not only connect with each-other, but themselves. And although the world has changed in its tastes and tolerances from the days of the Tigers dens of yesteryear, I to am learning and continuing to evolve in this life. So should there be a quantum of pity or charity in any of you, for what is a tired old soul whose just looking to give back, I shall humbly and gratefully appreciate your vote of confidence. Yes! I confess, I dip into the jam jar a little too thoroughly at times and maybe have a little too much orange juice in the mornings.I don't always indicate whilst out on a spirited drive in my aged but nimble racy little minx of a sports car. But by God do I pay my tax and look out for the interests of my fellow road users. But my intentions are as pure as the whisky currently sat by my side even if it is winking at me and flashing it's knickers. Ladies and gentlemen I appreciate you entertaining the ramblings of an intoxicated and dishevelled mind. Some would even say, a vacant mind but I bid you a good evening on this good friday. may the good shepherd keep a watchful eye over you and yours. Good evening and God bless. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!! Now THIS is what I'm here for!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! omg omg omg omg!!  Where you have been all my life? I'm swooning down here in Tex-ass from the rush of oxygen to my brain. I'll vote for you! I'll cheer for you! I'll be your Champion from days of old if you need. Thank you for sharing your self with the world and especially here. |
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olivetti
Founder Member 
Meow.
Posts: 167
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Post by olivetti on Apr 17, 2022 4:33:30 GMT
Ladies and gentlemen of the forum. I welcome you to what is without a shadow of a doubt in my mind, ( whats left of it ) a shambolic example and a sorry excuse for a human being and his attempt at a campaign for a moderating position. I come to you with a combination of cigar ash and dandruff on my shoulder as well as a jam stain on my jumper. Ladies and gentlemen, I am a mess. There is no two ways about it, there is no sugar coating it, I am a mess. In the handful of decades I have somehow survived. ( Believe me it's as big a mystery to myself as it is for God ) I find myself in possession of an uncanny and somewhat bombastic fortune. I've been known to play rock, paper & scissors with myself in a mirror and win. I often find myself reminding myself that I shall die one day whilst waiting for my kettle to boil. But ladies and gentlemen I must tell you that my good lady believes this is surely a sign that I need to replace said kettle if it's taking that long to boil that one questions the expiry date of his own mortality. So what qualifications do I have? *taps ash off cigar* Absolutely none. I have seen my dreams turn to nightmares and I have had my heart broken then fixed and broken again about as many times as the waves have crashed against the shore. Yet I hope. Despite my failings, despite life's many disappointments I am stupid enough or boar-headed enough to still hope! *stuffs his cigar in his mouth* *then takes it back and out and wedges it between two fingers and points to the people* But I ask you, all of you! *wedges it back in his mouth* Isn't that why we're here? to hope for a better day? to build a better place in which to reside and take shelter from the stresses and strains of the daily grindstone to which we find ourselves shouldering everyday for better or worse? I have said before and I'll say again, I will roll my sleeves up and do my part in helping build this community. To build a space without agenda other than one of fairness and respect. Intrigue and compassion for the paths in which our fellow members chronicle in their blogs as they share their worries, aspirations, wisdom or curiosities. If this forum is to have little bits of us infused onto it. Like a tapestry of the traits of its users. I'd like it to be the part of me which doesn't hold any discriminatory view againsts a persons religious outlook, sexual orientation, colour of their skin, gender or any other mind numbing tribalistic bollocks this world and it's puppet masters would have us known by. The idea that this world has seduced many of the masses into reducing their essences down to a colour or certain genital, frankly *removes cigar* FRANKLY, has me arse over elbow. We, are human-fucking-beings. Not blue ticks, not advertising boards or farm animals*thumps desk*, oh no ladies and gentlemen that, we are not. And I'll tell you what we also aren't. We're not part of some sickos voyeuristic fetish. Our lives are not up for the perverse perusal of power hungry despots who dabble a little too readily in nepotism*thumps desk*. Respect is what is sought and respect is what shall be given!*thumps desk* Other forums may get off on their highschool antics and cloak and dagger bullshit but I for one will do everything in my ability to ensure sound ethics and noble character safeguards this forum and it's members from the delinquency of ravenous shadowy types and their perversions. *thumps desk* Ladies and gentlemen if I may close with this. *takes a swig of whisky* In my 12 years of being a moderator / Admin elsewhere. I have been touched by the expressions of friendship and compassion between one stranger to another. Some of lifes biggest lessons have been taught to me on forums such as this. And it is my dream, should I be so bold. That Writebrains be a place for people to not only connect with each-other, but themselves. And although the world has changed in its tastes and tolerances from the days of the Tigers dens of yesteryear, I to am learning and continuing to evolve in this life. So should there be a quantum of pity or charity in any of you, for what is a tired old soul whose just looking to give back, I shall humbly and gratefully appreciate your vote of confidence. Yes! I confess, I dip into the jam jar a little too thoroughly at times and maybe have a little too much orange juice in the mornings.I don't always indicate whilst out on a spirited drive in my aged but nimble racy little minx of a sports car. But by God do I pay my tax and look out for the interests of my fellow road users. But my intentions are as pure as the whisky currently sat by my side even if it is winking at me and flashing it's knickers. Ladies and gentlemen I appreciate you entertaining the ramblings of an intoxicated and dishevelled mind. Some would even say, a vacant mind but I bid you a good evening on this good friday. may the good shepherd keep a watchful eye over you and yours. Good evening and God bless. I absolutely heard this in Winston Churchill's voice and/or Gary Oldman acting as Churchill's voice. |
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Post by Telos on Apr 22, 2022 23:21:45 GMT
Declaration of Winners While normally we would move into a three-day voting period following the one week submission of candidacy and campaigning, since @blacklabel has run unopposed, they shall be duly elected Moderator without contest. Congratulations, @blacklabel! You should now change your 'Display Group' to 'Moderator' in your Profile (under 'Edit Profile' > 'Settings'). Your duties are defined in the Forum Code, though if you have any questions please don't hesitate to ask the Owners. Your term shall expire in six calendar months, on 23rd October 2022 at 09:00GMT. We still need to elect one further Moderator to have the full complement of staff. These elections shall be run in due course, and repeated until the positions are filled. |
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Apr 23, 2022 9:45:31 GMT
Declaration of Winners While normally we would move into a three-day voting period following the one week submission of candidacy and campaigning, since @blacklabel has run unopposed, they shall be duly elected Moderator without contest. Congratulations, @blacklabel ! You should now change your 'Display Group' to 'Moderator' in your Profile (under 'Edit Profile' > 'Settings'). Your duties are defined in the Forum Code, though if you have any questions please don't hesitate to ask the Owners. Your term shall expire in six calendar months, on 23rd October 2022 at 09:00GMT. We still need to elect one further Moderator to have the full complement of staff. These elections shall be run in due course, and repeated until the positions are filled. Right you are sir! |
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Where you have been all my life? I'm swooning down here in Tex-ass from the rush of oxygen to my brain. 
